religion part 2

ages ago i made a blog called religion about how now im not afraid to say i dont have an religion.
but i didnt really say all i wanted to say .
nowadays .. EVERYDAY people are asking me about religion and it just always comes up in conversation . i even made a facebook status about it

' id rather have no religion.die and be surprised that Christianity is real than devote/waste all my life being a 'perfect' Christian just to find out there is nothing there.

Saturday at 21:46 ' 

and obviously i made the status so i agree with that . but 36 comments . my cousin saying that i will ' know the truth  one day ' WHAT IS THE TRUTH EXACTLY ? & another sguy trying to convert me into islam ?  i have already said i dont fucking believe in the stories. & another person calling me SINFUL ? well you know what i have to say to that . GET OF MYnonexsistentDICK . everyone is different , everyone has different beliefs i shouldn't be prosecuted because mine are DIFFERENT . dont manipulate me because im not a replica of yourself . if God loves us all , then he/she/it should love me anyway . who cares who the messenger is ? I GOT THE FUCKING MESSAGE . isnt that all that matters?

- yes i am swearing . but i really dont care . it frustrates me how people are always telling me how i SHOULD be and what not to be, i just want to be MYSELF  . isnt acting how you want me to act , FAKE ?

and to be honest , id rather have no religion then to have one and go against it everything it stands for.. i know so many people that say there are religious but yet they drink , smoke and do sexual things too . isnt that a contradiction ? and i know i wouldnt stick to the rules of any religion, so why pretend . also if i dont believe in something..what am i going to gain our of pretending . 
people are always encouraging me to be myself and not care what others think , yet when i do i still get complaints.religion is for some people and not for others .
if i die and find out there WAS  a jesus i will be pleasantly surprised , but i know im not going hell because im a GOOD PERSON - .

another thing why is there a heaven and hell , should there just be heaven , shouldn't god change people after they die . we have all gone through our lives so shouldn't we ALL be rewarded somehow .

ah that was a good ending up there ^ and i had to think of something else.
agnostic- believe theres a God up there , but just confused about all the different stories
anyway all i want to say is .
i am Deanne . S.  Hay , and just because i'm agnostic does not make me any less of a person .